Sunday, 1 February 2015

Help!


I haven't written for a week and it's driving me crazy. I have lots of ideas though, I just can't seem to put them together for some reason...Actually I think I know what's going on, and I need to find a solution.

I used to have some sort of writing routine. I was thinking about my posts while driving to and from work. 45 minutes of "thinking", even though they were spent in traffic, were giving me enough time to come up with some ideas, sentences and good catch phrases. Now, my commute is between 10 and 15 minutes each way. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade that for anything, but my "me-time" has been reduced a lot as a result, and the ability to write a whole post in my head is well and truly gone.

I used to have some "alone" time to take the laptop, do some reading here and there, and start writing something. My husband was working in the evening and once the kids were in bed, I could sit comfortably on the couch and work on my blog. I wasn't writing every evening, but I had the freedom to start a post and finish it the following day if I wasn't happy or lacked a bit of inspiration. Now my husband is home at 7pm. Again, I'm not complaining about that as we used to see each other a lot less than now, but my routine has completely gone the window. I obviously want to spend time with him, so we usually watch a movie on the laptop because we stream everything online (that's what you do when you have kids and can't go to the cinema anymore). 
He's very supportive of my blogging activity, and sometimes asks me if I want to write, but I don't like having to write if you know what I mean. The thought that "tonight is my only chance to come up with some ideas because he has decided to watch something on TV and I have access to the laptop", is the sort of pressure I don't handle very well. In short, I don't like being pressured (even though I know it's not intentional).

I also need to be alone to write, without someone asking me questions: "Have you finished?", "What are you writing about?" and so on. I have read somewhere that writers can be very solitary. Not that I call myself a writer, that would be way too pretentious, but I can definitely understand the reason behind it. I need peace and quiet, maybe some white noise in the background or a re-run of Friends on TV because complete silence freaks me out a bit, but I need to be on my own. That's not good news for the husband (or the kids), is it?!

You probably wonder how I managed to write this entire post then? Well, my husband has taken the kids out to the playground. But I seriously can't ask him to leave the house every night, can I? Although he might be happy to go the pub every couple of days (our wallet wouldn't be though)

So now I have a question for all blogging working parents out there? How do you do it? Where do you find the time to work full-time, mind the kids,cook, supervise homework, spend some time with your partner AND write as well? Do you steal the laptop and lock yourself in the bedroom? Do you have more than one laptop? (that's in my plans, but I don't have enough money at the moment!). Do you need to be alone or can you write surrounded by people? 

I'd like to know because I really really enjoy writing this blog, I just feel it's not fitting in my new busy timetable anymore and I'm not happy about it.

Comments (10)

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Join the club Anna, like you my ideas come in the car. My kids are a bit older so I spend a lot of time running them around or waiting for them. I also write in my coffee break with a good old notebook and pen. I don't have a designated space. I write in noise and quiet, although obviously quiet is best. Currently James Bond is screaming in the background. Just don't give up and try and reorganise just a little to sneak in a few extra minutes of me time.
1 reply · active 544 weeks ago
Thanks for the comment and advice :-) I don't know how you write during your coffee break, especially without having a designated space... I used to have a notepad, I should start using it again!
I'm so there with you, Anna, and nothing poisons my writing energy as much as feeling like I HAVE to write. I've started staying up later, which gives me more time and less energy to do everything else in the world. I'm currently pressuring scientists to come up with a pause button for life. I'm sure there would be some temporal ramifications, but I'm willing to risk that. On a more that-could-actually-happen note, maybe listening to music while you do household things will give you back your commute plotting time? It helps me sometimes.
1 reply · active 544 weeks ago
I am so with you about the pause button for life ! Never thought about the music, but I'll give it a try, it could maybe calm down the rest of the family as well... Thanks for the advice :-)
Not having a job outside the home or a husband probably helps me I guess! I get ideas in the car too, or when I get out for a run, and everything gets noted down in different places, but yes I usually get things written in the half hour after the kids leave for school and before I can start making phone calls etc at 9 or so :)
My recent post Sunday Thoughts
1 reply · active 544 weeks ago
So in fact I should give up the husband and work from home... not a bad idea ;-) Seriously, of all the people I read the blog of, you're the one that inspires me the most, and I don't know where you find all the energy, but well done :-)
I have the same problem (although right now, I'm not writing because my head is too full of other more pressing things) and I know that the only way to break through is to plan ahead. I should have a blogging plan and a calendar, with all the ideas already planned out a month in advance and some notes written down. I'm still a spur-of-the-moment blogger, and long term, it never works.
My recent post Grappling with Charlie
1 reply · active 544 weeks ago
Maybe it doesn't really work long term, but that's because we are mostly blogging as a hobby and not a job. If I was writing full-time, I would have to get organised and plan ahead and so on, but because I'm just doing it for pleasure, I don't feel the need to get so much organised. Would it not become more of a chore then? When I put pressure on myself like " I have to publish 3 posts" this week, I just end up with no inspiration at all!
Even without the job (but with a wife) I sometimes have hard time getting started. I like to set a timer for myself. 40 mins of solid, forced writing usually gets things flowing.

Good luck!
1 reply · active 544 weeks ago
Usually the forced writing doesn't really work for me, but I admit I am a bit of a lazy person sometimes, and a procrastinator (which doesn't help)... I admire you for being able to set a timer and just write!

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