Monday, 2 June 2014

The Reality Of Missing Out

The cousin's reunion I couldn't be there for

Do you know FOMO, The Fear Of Missing Out ? Well, last week-end, I just experienced ROMO (I've just made that acronym up by the way) the Reality Of Missing Out. It wasn't nice.

As an expat, I have often missed out on family or friends events happening in my home country. I missed birthdays, weddings, communions, births, christenings, funerals, you name it.  
I often had to choose carefully which event I wanted or had to take part in and plan yearly holidays around them. It doesn't help that my husband's family lives on the other side of the world either. 

Last week end, I missed out on a very important family event. I knew it was taking place and knowing I couldn't be there was just killing me. All my cousins got together for a week-end. There was food, drinks and probably lots of laughter. We are a big family, I have lots of cousins and we get on really well. 

This cousins reunion had been announced a few months ago, but as I had already planned the holidays in July, and it wasn't during a school break, we couldn't make it. We also didn't have enough money to go back home just for a week end. I knew I was going to miss it and was gutted, but there was nothing I could do (except maybe win the lotto, which sadly, didn't happen).

On Friday evening, my sister started to post pictures on Facebook and although I wanted to be happy for her and all of them, I just felt sad and I really knew I was missing out on something phenomenal. There are a few crazy people in my family, ones you know will make a party unforgettable, so it was quite painful thinking I could have been there and enjoy all this madness.

On Saturday I felt a bit better. I was planning a little girls night out of my own, with a friend. I went shopping for a nice outfit (Yeah, I don't go out very often, so I had to find something half-decent to wear), and that's when my sister rang me.

I wasn't expecting the call at all. She actually rang when I was driving so I told her to ring me back a few minutes later. During that time, I felt weird. I didn't really want to talk to her or anybody who was at the party. I might be crazy, but I felt that if I was missing out on that big reunion, I just didn't want to be part of it at all. It's quite hard to explain, but it's difficult enough being far away, I didn't want to only be " half there" (if that makes sense). 

After the call, I had mixed emotions. I was happy I heard everybody, I was sad I couldn't be present and enjoy the week-end. And I kind of wished my sister didn't ring me. I would maybe have been happy enough with seeing pictures on Facebook. I was there with them, for a brief moment, and I wasn't. It was like being caught in the middle. It was such a weird feeling.

That night, I went out and had a great time. I even went a bit wild !! Maybe I did go crazy to compensate for the party I missed with my cousins.

One thing for sure, we probably all had the same hangover the following day !!!