Sunday, 1 May 2016

10 things I've been told when I say I'm French

Inspired by Aerogaby's post on weird questions she's asked when she says she's Venezuelian, here's my take on weird stuff I've been asked or told when I tell people I'm French...

Do you eat frogs legs, snails, horse meat?

Yes, I have eaten frogs legs Ireland. Never in France and I've never been to a French restaurant that serves them. If you want to know, it tastes like chicken wings, but it's smaller. No fuss at all here...
As for the snails, I ate some a long time ago and I didn't like it so I never tried again.
Horse meat? Unless I ate dodgy industrial lasagna a few years back, no. I actually don't know anyone who has. Maybe not a popular dish in Brittany?

Frogs legs in an Irish pub

French people... They are always on strike!

Wrong. Sometimes they're on holidays! On a more serious note, French people do like a good protest. At the moment they are protesting about the new employment law (and trust me, it's not pretty). French people see it that way: We protest and then we talk. In Ireland it's the opposite. Irish people protesting or being on strike is usually the last resort.

I love France! I've been to Paris once

Yeah... Paris is not representative of France. And I bet you loved Paris as a city but you hated the arrogance of Parisians. Being from the countryside, I will have to agree with you.

Can you help me choose a bottle of wine?

I might be French but I know feck all about wine so just take the middle of the range one. You'll be grand.

What do you think about the French president?

That applies to all the presidents that have been in power since I'm in Ireland: Chirac, Sarkozy and now Hollande. The thing is, I'm not deeply interested in politics so I haven't much to say about them. What you probably want to know even more is what I think about Hollande's affair with a French actress. My only thought about that is, how was she attracted to him in the first place?!

I can speak French: Sacrebleu, voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

We haven't used the word "Sacrebleu" in France for the past 50 years at least so I don't know where this is coming from! As for the rest, the answer is no, thank you!

You don't have much of an accent, for a French person...

Years of practice, trust me!

Why are French people so arrogant?

Because they think they have the best language, culture, education, social model, architecture, food, drink to name a few...

Do you all wear berets and striped shirts?

Yes, and we go around with a baguette in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other...

And last but not least: What do you think about Thierry Henry's hand ball against Ireland?

Even after so many years, this one always come back. I used to have a manager who would use the event as a way to close off an argument. If we disagreed on an issue and he ran out of ideas he would end the discussion by saying: "I only have one thing to say: Thierry Henry". And I knew it was the end of it!

What about you? What's the weirdest questions you've been asked while abroad?