Things Irish people say but don't mean

When I came to Ireland I had to get used to the way Irish people talked. It wasn't so much what they said, but more what they meant that I didn't always understand.

If you take their words literally, you can feel confused or even upset sometimes. Irish people seem to have the ability to say things but don't really mean them. And don't even get me started on saying the complete opposite of what they think (that could be a whole new post!)

Here a few examples:

"How are you?" / "How's things?" / "What's the Story ?"

The truth is, Irish people don't really want to know how you are doing. It's just politeness.They don't wait for an answer. Sometimes they ask "How are you?" while passing you by and just keep on walking without waiting for any acknowledgement on your part. Now, If you REALLY want to answer, the main thing to remember is to stay vague. So the best answers in that case are:

- How are you ? Not too bad / Grand / Not a bother

- What's the story ? Not much

See you later / See you after

In fact, there's little chance you'll see them later. Most of the time it would be the following day or week, or never, who knows... I'm definitely guilty of this one. I think I said it to customers I had never seen before (and obviously never saw later or after...). 

Come here to me!

Let's get this straight: DON'T GO THERE. Whoever is saying that don't want you to physically go up to him/her. It's just a way of saying " I need to tell you something". Very strange isn't it ? I really don't know where this expression is coming from, but I definitely didn't learn that one at school. 

F*ck off!

Everyone knows what it means of course, but sometimes it's the way it's said and it also depends of the context. Let's take a simple example:

- Have you heard Paddy just won the lotto ?

- F*uck off!

Translation:  Really ? Are you serious ? 

To go " for one"

Yeah, nobody will be fooled by that one. Except me, when I still  believe the husband wants to go to the pub " for one" , and we end up leaving when it closes... Irish people always say they go " for one", but they never drink just "one". It wouldn't be very Irish after all...

It's down the road / up the road / around the corner

Yes... It could be 10 miles away it would still be down the road. I live up the road from the sea, but what I need to say is : "The sea is *literally* down the road from my house." Just so they know the beach is not that far away...

I wasn't taught those things at school but I guess this is all part of the joys of discovering a whole new culture. And after so many years, I use most of them myself !

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Are my kids more Irish than I'll ever be ?

Ireland and France were playing in the 6 nations tournament at the week-end. Not against each other thankfully. However I've already been reminded that they will face each other in a few weeks and that, of course, France will loose ( We'll see about that...).

On Saturday, Ireland was playing and we dressed the boys with the Irish jersey, even if we knew they wouldn't really care about the game. I didn't care about it either, I'm not a rugby fan. All of this was really to please the husband...

During the game, we tried to make our 2 and a half years old son say " Come on Ireland!", just for the laugh. He's at the age where he repeats everything we say ( which is NOT a good thing sometimes...), so it was pretty easy to make him say that. He enjoyed it so much he was shouting " Come on Ireland" all over the house.

The following day, France was playing, so of course I tried to make him say " Allez la France" (Come on France!). Would you believe he didn't want to say it !!! There I was, telling him to repeat, and all his answers were " No! Come on Ireland" or " No, no France". I was quite disappointed to say the least.

Then, it sort of hit me. I know he's only young and doesn't grasp the concept of nationality yet, but the way it's going, he will quickly become more Irish than I will ever be. After all, he goes to an Irish childminder, the TV is in English, his dad talks to him in English and I'm the only one speaking French to him. We only go to France once a year and to Mauritius (my husband's native country) every 2 or 3 years. It's not like my two boys know a lot about our home countries...

So, will my kids feel they are more Irish than French or Mauritian ? I think they will, but I also think it's our duty as parents to make them learn about their roots, so that they don't forget where they come from. They may not always be interested to learn, but hopefully, one day they will thank us (Now I sound like my mother, which is pretty weird...)

I will do it, even if it I have to repeat 20 times " Allez la France"!  And I'm happy to say that after two days of trying, my little one has finally said it -well, after giving me a cheeky look and whispering " Come on Ireland" in my ears-

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Sure you're nearly Irish at this stage...

I've been hearing this more and more and I don't know if I am in denial or if all those Irish friends of mine are winding me up ( as they usually do...)

I mean, in my mind, I'm French and I always will be. I can't live without my filter coffee machine, I love croissants and baguettes (and please, not the Cuisine de France ones),I could eat a platter of cheese on my own, with some wine of course... I have a colourful catalogue of French curses and I'm a moany, always complaining woman (although that could be typical of every woman in the world, but being French on top of that doesn't help). 

The truth is, my beloved coffee machine broke at least a month ago, I haven't bothered buying a new one, and I've been drinking instant coffee since ( shocking I know!). The only time there are croissants or baguettes in my house is when my mum comes to visit. Otherwise, I eat sliced bread. French cheese is way too expensive so it really is a treat when I eat some. The old reliable mature cheddar cheese is good enough for me...

Irish people think the French are always on strike. Well, I've never been on strike, ever. And the more I live here, the more I am laid-back. Sure I still moan about everything, but most of the time I end up saying "Sure, there's nothing we can do about it" and my favourite one " We'll see how it goes"...

I do curse, probably too much, but like the Irish , I say "f***king" every second word. The weird thing is my co-workers are now cursing in French... go figure! 

And now for the worst, I think I'm losing my French. Sometimes I find myself having to THINK how I would explain something in my own language.

I do love Ireland, and even if I thought of going back to France a million times,I'm still here. I miss my family, I miss my friends, but I don't miss my country that much. I would just like to be able to go back there more than once a year.

I still learn about Ireland and Irish people, even after 11 years living here, but nothing really surprises me any more...

And more importantly, I enjoy being "The French one", even if I get slagged all the time for it !

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