The best fans in the world

Unless you've been living under a rock or you're not a football fan, the Euros are starting tomorrow.

There is something quite paradoxal with the Irish and football. The national league doesn't have a great following, and yet,  when it comes to international competitions, Ireland comes to a standstill and an army of fans travels to whatever country the tournament is happening in.

Staff will more than likely be allowed to go home early to watch the game, and don't worry, if you're not Irish I'm pretty sure many companies will have screens in the office for their international workers. Back in 2002, the call-centre I was working in installed a TV in the break room and employees could watch their home country games at work, provided they made up for the time later.

It is often said that the Irish are the best fans in the world, and I couldn't agree more. Let's not fool ourselves here: we all know that Ireland has very little chance to get through the first round, and yet, the whole country is behind its team.

Irish fans are also very inventive when it comes to banners, always adding the extra "Irish humour" to the situation.

The famous banner of the Euros 2012

Irish fans just put a great atmosphere wherever they go, be it the local pub or a 70,000 seats stadium. I always had fun watching games in the pub, even if I was the only one dressed in blue amongst an ocean of green... And every time France won against Ireland, the Irish were very gracious.

Except that night. Oh you know what I'm talking about. Thankfully I was at home, watching the match with my Irish neighbours. When the Thierry Henry's "incident" happened, my first thought was "They're going to KILL me at work tomorrow". Ringing in sick even crossed my mind, not that it would have changed anything... And I was right. I never got that much slagging in a day than in my entire time in Ireland. The Irish have been very rancorous about that one...and even after 7 years, I still get slagged over it.

I'm not a big football fan, but I'll watch the French and Irish games and the great thing about living in another country is being able to cheer for two teams!

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Beach or car park?

For some weird meteorological reason, Ireland is experiencing unusual hot weather at the moment. At the same time, half of France is flooded and colder than usual. I'm not going to complain about it, because I tell you, when it's sunny all day for more than 2 days in row, you'd better take advantage (you never know how long it's going to last...).

I love it when Ireland is sunny and warm. People just smile all the time and it's like the whole country comes alive. My boss brought us ice-cream for lunch the other day, my son's pre-school organised a water balloon fight, my childminder installed the inflatable swimming pool in the garden, and we've been soaking up the sun on the rooftop terrace for the past week...

I'm also lucky in the sense that I live near the beach. It's down the road so we just walk there, but the strange thing about that beach is that cars are allowed to park on it. The other behaviour I noticed is that beach-goers just stay next to their car and I really don't understand the reason behind this.

Parking is only allowed on one portion of the beach, so would you not rather lie down, have a picnic or make sandcastles with your kids on the car-free part?

We went to the beach last Sunday and took a spot quite a distance from the "No cars beyond this point" sign. As the time went by, more and more cars parked, until there was no more space on the "beach car park". So what did some drivers do? Park in the car-free  zone of course!

Before we knew it, the sea wasn't in sight anymore and all we could see was a line of cars. It was also quite worrying to see drivers trying to navigate between children playing in the sand. Surely having kids and cars in a place like that is a bit dangerous...

No cars beyond this point... yeah, right!

Coming from a seaside region in France where there is a proper cark park besides almost every beach and discovering cars were allowed to park on it here was quite a cultural shock at first.

I got used to it, like many other things, but I go to the beach to relax, listen to the waves and take a breathe of sea air... not see lines of cars blocking the view.

What do you think, should cars be allowed on the beach or not?

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Maths problem

My son's homework... makes me want to cry!

After 13 years of living my life in another language, I consider myself bilingual. But there is something I really cannot do in English, and it's maths.

I don't remember ever being good at it. Maybe in primary school, but still, I have memories of struggling with silly things like divisions or types of angles. Now, imagine having to do it all over again, but in a different language.

This is what's happening right now when I'm desperately trying to help my 8 years old with his maths homework. I don't know maths vocabulary in English, I don't know how the teacher has explained and worse, I actually cannot count or do arithmetic in English.

Before I had to face that problem, I never really asked myself why I was always counting or doing mental arithmetic in French. And if I'm at the ATM I always think about my Pin number in French. I know my Irish phone number in English, but if I had to give a French number to someone, I would have to think harder before saying it. Strange isn't it?

I was so puzzled I decided to research the issue and see if I was the only one who couldn't do maths or use numbers in their second language. And I finally came across this article.

In short, it explains that the majority of bilinguals count in their native language because they favour the language of instruction. Basically, the process of learning arithmetic tables is so hard that it stays in your brain and it's easier and more efficient to reactivate the cells involved when we use numbers  than learning it all over again in a different language.

But the study also shows that when it comes to numbers we have to remember, the language we think in can vary according to circumstances.

All of this makes perfect sense to me. That's why I remember my different passwords involving numbers in French, why I know my own phone number in English and especially why I find it so hard to explain additions in English to my son.

There's only one solution I think. Learning arithmetic with my child in English all over again. And I thought I was being done with maths since the end of secondary school! The nightmare is only starting I guess...

What about you? Do you find it hard counting in your second language? Or are there other things you can only do in your mother tongue?

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Why are the French rude and judgemental?

At least the weather was nice... I can't say the same for some people we met...

Let's not make a sweeping statement here, not ALL French people are rude and arrogant, but interestingly, that's how we are perceived by a good majority of foreigners.

I'm just back from a week in South of France, where we stayed with a couple of Irish and American friends. I was looking forward to that trip so much, and in terms of weather, landscape, food and wine, it certainly didn't disappoint.

But when it came to interactions with other French people, I was a bit baffled. Maybe it's because I knew I wanted to write about the subject so I paid more attention to the bad stuff than the good. Or maybe there actually is more negativity in France and I noticed it because even though I am French, I was a tourist over there.

So let's see what happened, and you might understand what I'm trying to explain. On the second day, we took a trip up the mountains. As soon as we arrived I took the kids to the toilets, and of course the queue for the women's was big. There was no one in the men's. I queued for a little bit but then I saw a woman coming out of the men's bathroom with a boy, and I thought "Well, that's a good idea. I'll take my son there and my friend's daughter will stay in the queue for the ladies. We should be out at the same time." As soon as I made my way to the gents, the woman who just came out of there looked at me and the conversation went a bit like that:

Woman: You can't go there, it's for men

Me: Well, he's a boy. And you just came out of there

Woman: Yes, but we were just trying to make the ladies queue smaller. You can't go there.

Me: So what? He wants to go the toilets, he's a boy. I don't see the problem

I went in anyway, but I heard a big sigh and whispers. My problem with this is, why did she care so much about me going into the men's toilets? It didn't affect her personally, so why criticizing when she did exactly same thing? I still don't get it.

Our trip to the supermarket was a bit of an experience as well. When my son had a minor tantrum because he wanted a toy, there were customers looking at us, and trust me, their face told a thousand words. I tried not to pay attention, but I couldn't help but I really felt judged. I won't even get into the impatience of customers behind us when I was translating the different types of ham to my Irish friend!

The funniest (or saddest, but we decided to laugh about it) was when my American friend went to the supermarket to buy bread. As he took the last 3 baguettes on the shelf, a woman kicked him in the shin. One of the baguettes fell, she grabbed it and left. Only in France you'd see someone fight for a baguette!!

When I came back to Ireland, I discussed the "incidents" with a few French friends, and they felt the same way. One of them told me she was stopped in a supermarket by a stranger who was looking inside her trolley, and told her "You must be well-off considering how full it is". Seriously? Since when people comment on other people's shopping?

This whole judgemental attitude reminds me of the day me and my husband went to buy alcohol for my birthday party. As we were choosing some bottles, an old couple told Fabrice that he shouldn't drink alcohol because it was the Ramadan. First of all, he's not Muslim, but even if he was, and he wanted to buy alcohol, so what? Why should they comment on it?

As a tourist in an unknown place, I really felt some negativity. But thankfully, it wasn't from everybody. We also met nice people in the village and overall , we had a wonderful stay (the wine helped a lot!). Still, I felt a bit bad for my friends. I speak French so I could defend myself, but what happens when you don't speak the language? They tried to speak a bit a French and made efforts, but somehow I'm not surprised foreign tourists think the French are rude.

I've never felt that in Ireland. Nobody has ever commented on my shopping trolley. Customers have helped or sympathised when my kids were misbehaving. On the whole, Irish people don't really care about other's actions when it doesn't affect them personally.

I want to think all of these examples could have happened in other countries. After all, there are ***holes everywhere. But yet, a part of me thinks it really is a French "thing" and it bugs me. Maybe the Irish in me is starting to take over...

What are your thoughts about this? Do you think I'm over reacting about French people being rude and judgemental?

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10 things I've been told when I say I'm French

Inspired by Aerogaby's post on weird questions she's asked when she says she's Venezuelian, here's my take on weird stuff I've been asked or told when I tell people I'm French...

Do you eat frogs legs, snails, horse meat?

Yes, I have eaten frogs legs twice...in Ireland. Never in France and I've never been to a French restaurant that serves them. If you want to know, it tastes like chicken wings, but it's smaller. No fuss at all here...

As for the snails, I ate some a long time ago and I didn't like it so I never tried again.

Horse meat? Unless I ate dodgy industrial lasagna a few years back, no. I actually don't know anyone who has. Maybe not a popular dish in Brittany?

Frogs legs in an Irish pub

French people... They are always on strike!

Wrong. Sometimes they're on holidays! On a more serious note, French people do like a good protest. At the moment they are protesting about the new employment law (and trust me, it's not pretty). French people see it that way: We protest and then we talk. In Ireland it's the opposite. Irish people protesting or being on strike is usually the last resort.

I love France! I've been to Paris once

Yeah... Paris is not representative of France. And I bet you loved Paris as a city but you hated the arrogance of Parisians. Being from the countryside, I will have to agree with you.

Can you help me choose a bottle of wine?

I might be French but I know feck all about wine so just take the middle of the range one. You'll be grand.

What do you think about the French president?

That applies to all the presidents that have been in power since I'm in Ireland: Chirac, Sarkozy and now Hollande. The thing is, I'm not deeply interested in politics so I haven't much to say about them. What you probably want to know even more is what I think about Hollande's affair with a French actress. My only thought about that is, how was she attracted to him in the first place?!

I can speak French: Sacrebleu, voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

We haven't used the word "Sacrebleu" in France for the past 50 years at least so I don't know where this is coming from! As for the rest, the answer is no, thank you!

You don't have much of an accent, for a French person...

Years of practice, trust me!

Why are French people so arrogant?

Because they think they have the best language, culture, education, social model, architecture, food, drink to name a few...

Do you all wear berets and striped shirts?

Yes, and we go around with a baguette in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other...

And last but not least: What do you think about Thierry Henry's hand ball against Ireland?

Even after so many years, this one always come back. I used to have a manager who would use the event as a way to close off an argument. If we disagreed on an issue and he ran out of ideas he would end the discussion by saying: "I only have one thing to say: Thierry Henry". And I knew it was the end of it!

What about you? What's the weirdest questions you've been asked while abroad?

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Collect moments, not things

Chamarelle waterfall, Mauritius

My sister is a shoe addict, and a clothes addict, and probably a nail varnish addict too. When she comes to visit, she always drags me to Penneys but the problem is, I just hate shopping. I only buy clothes if I need something specific to wear for an occasion or if I just come across a bargain by chance.

The thing is, I just don't see the point of having 20 pairs of shoes or a hundred clothes I will never wear. I don't care about the latest smartphone or a new flat screen. In short, I don't like spending money on things that won't last.

Material things eventually wear off but some memories can stay with you for ever.

I still remember the day I landed in Ireland, the first pub I went to, the first people I met. I remember the trip I took to the Cliffs of Moher, the crazy B&B owner in Kilkenny, the amazing seafood I ate in Kinsale. I remember my first Irish breakfast, the trip to Mauritius we took with our friends, or the Christmas dinner my host family cooked for my parents.

Before the digital camera and social media era, all my photographs were stored in big albums. Now they're all in my computer or my phone but sometimes I just take time to look at them randomly and it makes me realise everything I have accomplished throughout the years.

I'm not saying objects can't have the same effect. After all, I kept some of my kids newborn clothes, and I still have some of the books I read when I was a child, but they have a sentimental value. Of course, some things (even clothes!) can bring back memories, but the actual events and the people you shared experiences with: those are the things that will stay with you no matter what.

When you look back on your life, what will you remember? All the things you had or all the people you met and places you went to?

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A French holiday

Biarritz

For the first time in at least 10 years, we're going on a "real" holiday. OK, it's more like a short week away because it's only for 5 days, but still, it's in a place where we don't know anybody, and far away from any family.

We're going to the south west of France, near Biarritz, and I'm very excited. We'll be staying in a house with a couple of Irish friends and we have planned to drink wine everyday a great deal of activities for us and the kids. I've already been online trying to find things to do in the area like surf lessons, museums, beaches, boat trips... There's even a train that goes up the mountain and I know the boys will love it.

But why am I so excited to go to France? I mean, I shouldn't be so happy to visit my own country like if it was an exotic destination! When I was younger, all I wanted to do was go abroad, discover other countries, landscapes, and I have to say, I have travelled a lot more within Ireland than France.

Now that I have been here 13 years, it has become my home and I'm less eager to go on holidays in other parts of Ireland. I'm in the same situation as when I was 20 years old. I want to go abroad, visit other places and see something different.

The weird thing is that going on holidays to France fills me with the same excitement than the first time I went to Spain, Scotland or Mauritius. I feel like I'm going abroad, even if it's my native country.

I know there will be no language barrier asking for directions or buying a baguette in a boulangerie. But I will probably act like an Irish person, marvelling at the price of the wine (and regretting to only have a hand luggage!), discovering Basque country culture, food, drink and traditions. And in true Irish style, I might even moan about the hot temperature, but I won't go as far as looking for an Irish pub (although you never know...)

Maybe France really has become a foreign country and I should take more time to discover it because the diversity in landscapes, climates, architecture and regional cultures is just exceptional.

We often overlook what's just next to us, and for many years I didn't see the point of travelling within France. Maybe living abroad has made me see my native country under a different perspective.  And I can't wait to uncover what a French holiday has to offer!

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Why is it hard to make Irish friends ?

The first advice any foreigner is given when moving to Ireland is "Don't stick with your own, make Irish friends". I always say that to newcomers in this country, but the truth is, it's not as easy as it sounds.

A reader left the following comment on the blog recently and I think it sums up perfectly my feeling about the Irish and friendship:

"In France people may come across as being cold when you first meet them but as you get to know them, they tend to become close friends and you will talk about pretty deep things. Whereas, on the whole Irish people are more like "mangos", sweet and warm on the outside but you won't get very personal with them in the long run."

Comparing Irish people to mangos, now that's an analogy I never heard before!

I have thought about this subject for a long time, but didn't really know how to approach it without appearing negative or too critical. I've talked to many people about it, and came to the conclusion that having Irish friends is possible, but it's hard work. The reason is mainly cultural and this is why I don't want to sound too harsh, because at the end of the day, any friendship takes work, and learning about cultural differences is part of the whole "living abroad" journey.

First of all, every expat instinct is to find people in the same situation. People who will understand and sympathise with them. People who are having the same experience so they can share their doubts, fears, joy and all the emotions they're going through. I think this is one of the reason why expats tend to have more foreign friends, because they can relate to each other. On top of that, many of them work in a multicultural environment so their first colleagues are foreigners and the easy option is to stick with them.

The other issue is French people (I can't talk for every nationality) socialise very differently than the Irish. We usually invite people for dinner. Eating and drinking together in one's home is the main component of a French friendship whereas Irish people socialise outside. They meet their friends in the pub and that's as far as it goes (unless you're young and your nights out involve massive house parties). So if you haven't been invited for dinner in an Irish house, don't take it personally.

Another thing is that family is much more important here in Ireland, and I sometimes felt it was actually *more* important than friends. Irish people (the ones I know anyway) tend to go out to the pub with their grown-up kids, brothers, sisters, in-laws, cousins and so on. That doesn't really happen in France, not in my family anyway.

Maybe it's hard to become friends with Irish people because they already have their social circle, friends they know since secondary school, university or work. I mean, they don't really need "new" friends, whereas, when foreigners comes, it's the first thing they're on the look out for!! And it can be hard coming into a group of friends already formed. On the other hand, when the Irish see a whole bunch of Spanish or French people together, who don't speak the same language, I can understand they'd be afraid to approach them.

The Irish on the whole are very welcoming. I have met great people over the years and I can call some of them friends, but it took a long time and effort. Having said that, it was worth it.

To finish this off, I'll share something I've learned. If you want to be friends with an Irish person, and they tell you "Oh, we should go for coffee sometimes", you'd better agree on a date, time and place straight away or else you'll never hear from them again!

At the end of the day, we all have to make an effort and adapt to each other's culture . So basically, go to the pub to socialise with the Irish, and in return make them eat a delicious home-cooked meal with a nice bottle of wine. I'm sure they'll love it. I know my Irish friends do :-)

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